What made it so incredible, apart from the constant sunshine and unendingly delicious food, was the fact that all their grandchildren- aged from 11 to 17 -said it was the best week of their lives.
And I'm wondering how my parents have done it.
Not only how they've managed to survive 50 years of togetherness, but also how they've managed to inspire such love and devotion from their ( mostly ) teenage grandchildren.
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| Lisa and Vic 1964 |
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| Lisa and Vic 2011 |
" How have you and Lisa done it?" Matty and Mia, the two eldest granddaughters asked their granddad while we were there." How have you two stayed together for 50 years?"
My dad, Vic, looked thoughtful.
" I don't know the answer to that," he said, " I suppose it's like Lisa explained on the phone the other day...." and he began to tell the story.
Mum and dad had been sitting down, having a quiet bowl of soup with crusty bread for lunch, when the phone rang.
Like most people their age, my parents have a long list of ailments. Most recently it is my mum, who suffered a stroke about 5 months ago.
So when it was their GP on the phone it wasn't particularly surprising.
" So Mrs Gersten, How are you?" she asked.
" Not too bad," said my mum cheerfully.
" Good, good," said the GP "I just have a quick question,"
" OK," said my mum.
" If you were to have another stroke, would like us to put -do not resuscitate - on your file?"
My mum who is rarely ruffled by anything, was completely thrown by the question
" Well, I um... I," she stuttered, " well, the thing is... " her eyes rested on my dad, " the thing is, I think we still need each other. So I don't think I do."
Being faced with your own mortality over a bowl of soup can really spoil the flavour.
For days afterwards my mum was shaken by the call.
" It's just not the thing you expect someone to phone and ask you at lunchtime," she said.
"Or anytime," I want to add.
" But what she said was true," explained my dad looking affectionately at my mum and addressing his young, fashionably bikinied granddaughters, " After 50 years we still need each other."
And perhaps that's it, the thing that keeps people together for 50 years is mutual need.
But I can't help feeling there's something more to it than that..
For the last 50 years my parents have been each other's constant companions.
Through good times and bad they have never stopped being there for each other, never stopped caring, never stopped trying to make the best of things and somehow, they have never stopped finding things to laugh about.
When one of my friend's was getting divorced, she had to tell her daughter's teacher.
" Why are you doing that," the teacher asked
" Well, we just don't get on anymore," mumbled my friend.
" That's ridiculous," said the teacher, " my parents have hated each other for years and they're still together!"
So perhaps the extraordinary thing about my parents: after 50 years they don't hate each other.
Most of the time, they're even quite fond of each other!
Like everyone, they have had their share of disappointments, missed opportunities and unfulfilled dreams.
" When I think of all the mistakes I have made ...." sighs my dad.
" How about all the successes?" I say.
He just shrugs,
But even he must admit that their marriage counts as a big success.
I watch him and my mum surrounded by their children, their children-in-law, and all their grandchildren.
Everyone is laughing and chatting, enjoying being there with them.
And perhaps I see what they don't see: that they have created something special, something that many people aspire to and few actually achieve.
They have created a family who love each other and who love them.
And perhaps that won't make any of us rich or famous but it does make us happy.
Makes me very happy, reading this.
ReplyDeleteThank you Claudia! x
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