Deciding to move country, go travelling, change jobs, those decisions often seem easy.
Deciding what to have for dinner, what to choose from a restaurant menu, what colour tiles would look good in the kitchen, what clothes to wear- those are the hard ones.
Perhaps it's because big decisions have been hovering somewhere at the back of our mind for such a long time that when crunch time comes, we've actually already decided.
Or perhaps it's because big decisions tend to be emotive ones and it's easier to be governed by our emotions than the colour of a tile.
Or perhaps it's because those little decisions are the ones we have to live with every day and can make us feel perpetually disappointed.
"It doesn't matter what I order in a restaurant," said one of my friends, " when the food arrives, I always wish I'd ordered what my friends have."
And that's how those little decisions can make us feel: perpetually disappointed.
" My 2 year old has a tantrum every time we offer him a choice," said a parent to me yesterday.
" What do you mean?" I asked.
" Like, on Saturday we went to the park and we said: Do you want to feed the ducks at the pond or go to the playground. She chose the pond but as soon as we got there, she started shouting and crying. I think it's because she was worried that the playground might have been more fun."
That's the trouble with little decisions....the playground might always have been more fun.
Whereas the big decisions have a " no turning back," exciting sense of destiny about them. And the strange thing about those big decisions is that, once you have made them, the rest is easy, however huge the consequences.
When, 9 years ago, Ninesh and I decided to give up our jobs, take the kids out of school, buy a camper van and go travelling, we thought the decision would be the easy part and everything we needed to do to make it happen, would be difficult.
And we were right about the decision, it took one evening of discussion, but we were wrong about the rest.
Once we were sure of our decision, the rest seemed easy.
The school supported us, the Theatre rented our house furnished - pans, Ninesh found a camper van on-line and before we knew it...we were off.
Waving goodbye to our home, to permanence,to indoor living, to our street and ( with a tear in our eye) to our neighbours, we drove off into the early morning mist in our slightly top-heavy camper van.
And that big decision was the best decision we have ever made.
Not just because of all the amazing things we saw and the extraordinary things we did but because, for 6 months, we lived the unique adventure of just being a family.
No time-demanding, anxiety-causing strings attached.
Perhaps it was so easy to organise because once we had made the decision, Ninesh and I were driven by a shared dream, certain of what we both wanted.
And maybe that's the thing about big decisions, they give you a rare certainty, a definite purpose.
And even if the decisions are sad ones: leaving your family, leaving your home, giving up your job, the consequences of making those decisions are so immediate, so all-consuming that for a while you forget your normal, irritating, every day worries.
Big decisions free our minds, little ones clutter them.
So perhaps the thing to do, is to make a big decision every year.
I've just made mine for this year.
What will yours be?
Perhaps it's because big decisions have been hovering somewhere at the back of our mind for such a long time that when crunch time comes, we've actually already decided.
Or perhaps it's because big decisions tend to be emotive ones and it's easier to be governed by our emotions than the colour of a tile.
Or perhaps it's because those little decisions are the ones we have to live with every day and can make us feel perpetually disappointed.
"It doesn't matter what I order in a restaurant," said one of my friends, " when the food arrives, I always wish I'd ordered what my friends have."
And that's how those little decisions can make us feel: perpetually disappointed.
" My 2 year old has a tantrum every time we offer him a choice," said a parent to me yesterday.
" What do you mean?" I asked.
" Like, on Saturday we went to the park and we said: Do you want to feed the ducks at the pond or go to the playground. She chose the pond but as soon as we got there, she started shouting and crying. I think it's because she was worried that the playground might have been more fun."
That's the trouble with little decisions....the playground might always have been more fun.
Whereas the big decisions have a " no turning back," exciting sense of destiny about them. And the strange thing about those big decisions is that, once you have made them, the rest is easy, however huge the consequences.
When, 9 years ago, Ninesh and I decided to give up our jobs, take the kids out of school, buy a camper van and go travelling, we thought the decision would be the easy part and everything we needed to do to make it happen, would be difficult.
And we were right about the decision, it took one evening of discussion, but we were wrong about the rest.
Once we were sure of our decision, the rest seemed easy.
The school supported us, the Theatre rented our house furnished - pans, Ninesh found a camper van on-line and before we knew it...we were off.
Waving goodbye to our home, to permanence,to indoor living, to our street and ( with a tear in our eye) to our neighbours, we drove off into the early morning mist in our slightly top-heavy camper van.
 |
| Living the camper van dream |
Not just because of all the amazing things we saw and the extraordinary things we did but because, for 6 months, we lived the unique adventure of just being a family.
No time-demanding, anxiety-causing strings attached.
Perhaps it was so easy to organise because once we had made the decision, Ninesh and I were driven by a shared dream, certain of what we both wanted.
And maybe that's the thing about big decisions, they give you a rare certainty, a definite purpose.
And even if the decisions are sad ones: leaving your family, leaving your home, giving up your job, the consequences of making those decisions are so immediate, so all-consuming that for a while you forget your normal, irritating, every day worries.
Big decisions free our minds, little ones clutter them.
So perhaps the thing to do, is to make a big decision every year.
I've just made mine for this year.
What will yours be?
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