Thursday, 11 July 2013

The big boring breakfast battle


Like all parents, I know that breakfast is "the most important meal of the day."
Like all parents, I know that children who eat breakfast, learn better at school.
Like most parents of teenagers, I battle every morning to get them to eat it.

The battle usually starts on Sunday afternoon.
" So, " i say hopefully to Mia (15) and Joss (13), " dad's just going shopping, what would you like for your breakfasts this week?" 
" Anything's fine," says Mia, glancing up from her computer or away from a conversation with a friend about another friend.
" Don't care," says Joss, without lifting his eyes from his phone, which buzzes constantly with tweets from his 30,000 followers.
" Anything... and... don't care.. doesn't really help," I point out. " could you narrow it down a little."
Mia sighs and rolls her eyes.
" Why do you have to make everything so dramatic mum. It's just breakfast. Leave us alone. Get whatever."
" Mum and sister arguing about breakfast again, LOL," tweets Joss.
Ninesh writes " Breakfast things-whatever," on the shopping list and leaves for the supermarket. 
And I stand in the kitchen, explaining that I am not being dramatic and that breakfast is very important and Mia and Joss ignore me.  

And then it's Monday morning.
Sleepily Joss wanders into the kitchen in his trendy, baggy pyjama trousers.
He pulls open the drawer we have filled with bagels and muffins and malt loaf, stares at it disparagingly and slams it shut.
Ninesh comes downstairs, his ironed shirt in one hand and phone in the other.
" Joss just tweeted that there is never anything nice for breakfast in our house," he says.
I stare at Joss, who is now sitting at the table, his fingers moving like lightening across his phone.
" We've got loads of things for breakfast Joss," I say, my voice rising defensively.
" Not nice things," says Joss.
" There's bagels or muffins or eggs or toast or cereal or fruit or...."
" Exactly," says Joss, " nothing nice."
Mia floats in, her eyes still full of last night's dreams.
" Why are you shouting mum?" she asks.
" I'm not shouting," I shout.
" She's annoyed because I said there's nothing nice for breakfast," explains Joss.
" Oh that ," says Mia, " There never is. Can I have some of that curry left over from yesterday."
I feel myself relaxing. At least one of my children is going to eat breakfast without a fight.
" Of course you can," I smile, " I'll just heat it up."
"No. not now. I'm not hungry yet. I'll just have a cup of tea first."
I glance at the clock. In 20 minutes Mia and Joss have to be on their way to school and I have to be at work.
I grit my teeth. 
" Ok," I say," just tell me when.  Don't leave it too late though."
Mia glares at me.
" Why would I leave it too late. I'm not stupid.  Why do you always have to say things like that. Just forget it, I don't want anything for breakfast."
 And she storms into the bathroom.
Joss stands up.
" I'm going to get dressed," he says. " I'm not hungry anyway.  Why don't you just buy stuff we like for breakfast. Then you wouldn't have to get so stressy all the time."
And he walks upstairs, fingers on phone.
Ninesh's phone buzzes.
" Mum stressing out about breakfast again. Hahaha" he reads out. 
In my head, I race upstairs, grab Joss's phone and tell 30,000 complete strangers how I'm not stressed at all about breakfast and how lucky Joss is to have such a lovely mum.  In my head!
" Just let it go," advises Ninesh, " it's only breakfast. They'll eat if they're hungry."
And I know he's right.
But somehow I feel as though I am failing if I can't get them to eat at least a spoonful of cereal.
" But breakfast is the most important meal of the day," I begin forlornly, " all the research shows..."
Ninesh is already walking  away.
" All the research probably shows that breakfast is the most boring meal of the day... unless it's a fry up," he says, helpfully.
And perhaps that's true. 
 In other countries breakfast is just as exciting as all the other meals.  String hoppers  and kiri hodi in Sri Lanka

Chinese donuts and a bowl of warm soy milk in China


A cold platter in Germany


 Curries in Thailand


A bowl of cereal in England


Perhaps I need to be more creative with my breakfasts.  
Perhaps under " breakfast stuff," on Ninesh's shopping list, I should write:
Sate chicken, 
String hoppers
A variety of cold meat platters. 
Perhaps I should get up early so that the kids come downstairs to a beautifully laid out table with a variety of breakfast options each morning.
Or perhaps I should just stop being so " stressy."
Because  I can't help feeling that whatever I do for breakfast, 30,000 complete strangers would still receive the tweet:
 never any nice food for breakfast in our house. packet of crisps on way to school nom

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